a small void crept in. empty slots are easy to fill. small voids aren't. i have no idea what to fill it with. it would be ironic to eventually do what the temporary master suggested i could. i'm walking the opposite direction of meeting that potential. so, in some mathematical models, it would be impossible to get to that. thinking from this perspective, my deliberate hesitation is so alike hers. but no one's multiplying so two negatives won't make a positive this time.

au revenit.

some old guy recently stressed that nietzsche is dead. iar lumea externa este conectata intre ea prin cabluri coaxial-ombilicale wifi hacking proof double stressed by telepathy and smoke signal communication technologies and triple stressed by oath of blood. but there's no need to take the signs apocalyptically. there's just the habit of it. the sweet habit of paranoia well grounded on weird coincidence, constant uncertainty and mathematical apophenia.

and you know the rock bottom that won't strike oil or water is your wake up call when the last one connects to the server and turns into a personal time sucking vampire... or just against you.

mi-am accesat curajul si n-a mers. i'll take it as a bad sign and pretend to move on.

dinozaurul nu a putut sa stea in picioare singur si, pentru o vreme, am vrut sa ii spun baietelului din fata sa nu se mai impotriveasca evidentului rational si sa foloseasca sprijinul sticlei. sau al peretelui. desi peretele e cam impersonal si, astfel, e de preferat sticla. n-am spus. nu ne aflam intr-un context in care sa putem vorbi raspicat. and i had noticed his blue eyes engulfed by the depths of self contemplation long before noticing his play with the plastic dinosaur, anyway. there was no way i could have reached him in that context.

dinozaurul insa, neasteptat pentru amandoi, intr-un sfarsit, a stat. singur. asa cum ar trebui de fapt sa se intample. now there's a lesson in daily crucifixion.

there was another lesson to be learned, but the only thing i can think of right now is that it's the last day of summer '08. it must have had something to do with strength and self control.

pana la urma aici se ajunge - la vanat de locuri. daca. locuri unde sa fim. proved by passed experience. cum locurile sunt, insa, stramte, ne stramtam si noi. sageata. nevoile. perspectiva. privim oblic spre vis-a-vis, incetam a mai intelege, a mai percepe. ne sufocam. si apoi. ori dilatam locul si ne pierdem. ori refuzam sa ne pierdem si murim.

locul, insa, nu poate fi depasit. ori e asta ori e altul. ramane un loc.

it's too early for if clauses, now, though. it's not yet September.

i keep fidgeting with the triad. i let him in and then put him back out. it's always whole heartedly amusing when looking at it from the outside. i still can look at things from the outside. and everyone caught on the outside should be left there. to wonder. or...?

the song is depressively beautiful, though, as all songs should be. and i'm so tired.